ShaneVamp's Realm
To my batty

My batty, o batty, how should I start?

Let’s begin cheesy; you own my heart.

Every day I wake up and I can’t help but smile

When I think of you, my beloved dear Valentine.

I admit that was a rubbish rhyme, but I hope you don’t mind,

You are mine, I am yours, we are one of a kind.

Not like moon and stars, not like the sun and the moon,

Together, we shine bright like one single sun at noon.

We really are one, that much is true,

And even more so than that,

Samantha, I love you <3

Shane, the Crimson Reaper and Samantha, Rise of Thorns
Perfection
Samantha: The square root of you is me
Shane: Wha?
Samantha: And the square root of me is you
Shane: But th-
Samantha: We are one.
Shane: OH YOU ARE BRILLIANT
http://shanevamp.deviantart.com/art/I-m-ShaneVamp-332337906
For Azura! http://miss-azura.tumblr.com/
It&#8217;s been some time, eh? *sighs* Ah, memories.

For Azura! http://miss-azura.tumblr.com/

It’s been some time, eh? *sighs* Ah, memories.

Protons go together with Neutrons to make a Nucleus.

Electrons observe them lonesomely, longing for a Proton to accompany them.

There was once a Middlemist Red which grew next to Roses to fit in and feel like she belongs, not knowing another Middlemist Red which would die to make her feel that way

Species A is a lone predator, Species B hunts in packs.

Occasionally, an individual of Species A will go hunt with a Species B pack, alas leaving behind their desolate mate.

Between me and my mother
Mum: Would you kindly mow the lawn sometime today?
Me: Mhhh... Sure, yeah. *thinks a second time, realises he has terrible troubles with his hayfever lately and needs a new injection against it) Uh, actually, I'd prefer doing so after my hayfever gets better (I had told her I need a new injecction before this)
Mum: Well, I have troubles with my intervertebral disks and I have to function anyway.
Me: *slightly getting mad because it's her own bloody fault for not caring about her body and always working, goddamn workaholic* I don't think that this can be compared like so.
Mum: What I mean is that I have issues and I have to function all the same. (She literally used the word function every goddamn time, it pisses me off)
Me: Well, I wanted to ask you kindly if I could do it later, I literally asked you if it was ok, and you told me that my problems don't matter and that I had to function all the same! It's kind of upsetting!
Mum: WELL YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR EXCUSES!
Me: THIS IS NOT ME LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE!!
Mum: Your hayfever isn't, no
Me: I WAS JUST ASKING YOU IF I COULD NOT DO IT BECAUSE I AM HAVING ISSUES, AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE 'IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU JUST DO IT'
Mum: IT'S ONLY LIKE HALF AN HOUR, IT'S NOT GOING TO KILL YOU
Me: I'M ALREADY HAVING ISSUES AND I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN OUTSIDE YET (I had just gotten up) YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SUFFER FROM IT!! (Which she does very well know)
Mum: YOU THINK I'M NOT SUFFERING?!
Me: NO, I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT-
Mum: I HAVE TO FUNCTION ALL THE SAME, EVEN IF I DO
Me: OK, YOU KNOW WHAT-
Mum: DON'T YOU DARE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT
Me: I WAS JUST TRYING TO ASK YOU IF IT WOULD BE OK FOR ME TO NOT DO IT BECAUSE I HAVE TERRIBLE ISSUES WITH HAYFEVER, YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T CARE
Mum: NOBODY CARES ABOUT MY ISSUES EITHER! (She always says this, she doesn't even care how much it hurts me. She thinks she's the only person in this family who is hurt. The fact that I'm in psychologic treatment doesn't seem to convince her that I have problems)
Me: *not at all calm, but totally cynic* Well, I was trying to politely ask you if I could do it another time because of my hayfever and you told me it didn't matter and that I had to work anyway. I was expecting that I could talk to you in a normal matter for once (she always complains that we never talk normally and that I always get upset), I expected you to say something like 'Ok, you can do it another time.', but I guess that's not a possibility then.
Mum: (And she literally said this with the exact same words as I just did) Ok, you can do it another time.
Me: (I was saying this as normal as I could then) Thank you.
Leave me an ask with something to draw (one panel)

I will at least try to do it C:

Shane is 45% scary enough ^ω^ ?


So I just got a mail from a friend of mine&#8230;

So I just got a mail from a friend of mine…

Shane's Dorm Stories #1
People in the room next to us: *start watching a movie at midnight*
My roommate: "Hey, could you tell them to be turn it down a little please?"
Shane (me): *gets up, walks there*
My roommate: *hears a loud, sudden scream and then nothing*
Shane: *comes back* "The deed is done"
And that's how I ensure peace at night.
(The scream was actually a scene in the movie and they turned it down right after that, but when my roommate told me his point of view, I had to laugh and then I said "This is going on my tumblr" and so be it)
Nutella-Emergencies
Samantha: What if we're out of Nutella while the stores are closed?
Shane: Then you call the Nutella-cops. They'll bring you Nutella.
Samantha: Sounds more like the Nutella-ambulance.
Shane: No, those are either needed if you ate too much or suffer from lack of Nutella.
Samantha: What happens when you lack Nutella?
Shane: Ugly things.
Samantha: Like?
Shane: You know the Bubonic Plague? Guess why that happened.
Samantha: Because they didn't have enough Nutella?
Shane: They didn't have ANY NUTELLA
Samantha: Oh my God you're right