To my batty
My batty, o batty, how should I start?
Let’s begin cheesy; you own my heart.
Every day I wake up and I can’t help but smile
When I think of you, my beloved dear Valentine.
I admit that was a rubbish rhyme, but I hope you don’t mind,
You are mine, I am yours, we are one of a kind.
Not like moon and stars, not like the sun and the moon,
Together, we shine bright like one single sun at noon.
We really are one, that much is true,
And even more so than that,
Samantha, I love you <3
Perfection
Samantha: The square root of you is me
Shane: Wha?
Samantha: And the square root of me is you
Shane: But th-
Samantha: We are one.
Shane: OH YOU ARE BRILLIANT
The bible is fanfiction
And all Atheists are is people who say it’s not canon, while Christians are people who totally want/believe it to be canon, at least partially.
Then there’s [insert religion here]…
They’re a different fandom
…
Protons go together with Neutrons to make a Nucleus.
Electrons observe them lonesomely, longing for a Proton to accompany them.
…
There was once a Middlemist Red which grew next to Roses to fit in and feel like she belongs, not knowing another Middlemist Red which would die to make her feel that way
…
Species A is a lone predator, Species B hunts in packs.
Occasionally, an individual of Species A will go hunt with a Species B pack, alas leaving behind their desolate mate.
Between me and my mother
Mum: Would you kindly mow the lawn sometime today?
Me: Mhhh... Sure, yeah. *thinks a second time, realises he has terrible troubles with his hayfever lately and needs a new injection against it) Uh, actually, I'd prefer doing so after my hayfever gets better (I had told her I need a new injecction before this)
Mum: Well, I have troubles with my intervertebral disks and I have to function anyway.
Me: *slightly getting mad because it's her own bloody fault for not caring about her body and always working, goddamn workaholic* I don't think that this can be compared like so.
Mum: What I mean is that I have issues and I have to function all the same. (She literally used the word function every goddamn time, it pisses me off)
Me: Well, I wanted to ask you kindly if I could do it later, I literally asked you if it was ok, and you told me that my problems don't matter and that I had to function all the same! It's kind of upsetting!
Mum: WELL YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR EXCUSES!
Me: THIS IS NOT ME LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE!!
Mum: Your hayfever isn't, no
Me: I WAS JUST ASKING YOU IF I COULD NOT DO IT BECAUSE I AM HAVING ISSUES, AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE 'IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU JUST DO IT'
Mum: IT'S ONLY LIKE HALF AN HOUR, IT'S NOT GOING TO KILL YOU
Me: I'M ALREADY HAVING ISSUES AND I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN OUTSIDE YET (I had just gotten up) YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SUFFER FROM IT!! (Which she does very well know)
Mum: YOU THINK I'M NOT SUFFERING?!
Me: NO, I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT-
Mum: I HAVE TO FUNCTION ALL THE SAME, EVEN IF I DO
Me: OK, YOU KNOW WHAT-
Mum: DON'T YOU DARE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT
Me: I WAS JUST TRYING TO ASK YOU IF IT WOULD BE OK FOR ME TO NOT DO IT BECAUSE I HAVE TERRIBLE ISSUES WITH HAYFEVER, YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T CARE
Mum: NOBODY CARES ABOUT MY ISSUES EITHER! (She always says this, she doesn't even care how much it hurts me. She thinks she's the only person in this family who is hurt. The fact that I'm in psychologic treatment doesn't seem to convince her that I have problems)
Me: *not at all calm, but totally cynic* Well, I was trying to politely ask you if I could do it another time because of my hayfever and you told me it didn't matter and that I had to work anyway. I was expecting that I could talk to you in a normal matter for once (she always complains that we never talk normally and that I always get upset), I expected you to say something like 'Ok, you can do it another time.', but I guess that's not a possibility then.
Mum: (And she literally said this with the exact same words as I just did) Ok, you can do it another time.
Me: (I was saying this as normal as I could then) Thank you.
